Love&War.

 "Where is this "Love"??? I can't see it.. I can't touch it.. I can't feel it..I can hear it..i can hear some words...but i can't do anything with your easy words?"-Quote from "Closer" the movie  

So i had a couple of stuff  I've written saved & i thought of posting one up, actually i hesitated a lot on this...whether i should post it up or not because on how others judge or view people on things they write. however, i picked my fave piece of writing to publish today and by the way it's pretty long lol! it's not how i am currently feeling this wasn't written now & i am happy at the moment so please don't assume i am depressed or feel pity!!!  some might relate, some might like, some might don't...either way enjoy & comment.

 I once fell for this guy...the type of  person you fall for with time...he just knew how to make everything better and no matter what was going on he stood by....he proved to me he was different and soon enough i started feeling something i never felt before...i called that love...but i feel a bit dizzy right now....where is this guy? the one.....the guy i fell for i don't know him anymore, who is he??? .... love isn't suppose to feel this hopeless, no one should feel this pain if they are in love....I once had a vision....i pictured my future and in every vision their he was but right now my vision is not clear, i cant see anything... i don't see him....i don't know this guy anymore...is this love?..it's the love of your life worth it if he makes you cry?... How can someone fall out of love? their is no such thing..a person that falls out of love was never in love!...if you love someone you trust them with all your heart, if you love someone your happy when they are happy, if you love someone you would never feel this hopeless...then this is not love....why am i still here? i am searching..looking..for something to hold on to..i have nothing. I once tried  to hold on to this love ...i once knew i loved him...and i once had a vision...but my vision is not there anymore..is gone...i don't see anyone...its jut me.....their is no one else to trust in & no one else to to love...see someone once told me "you can  never give your all,you would lose it all...don't ever be the one to love more..you always gotta love less, give less otherwise you'll be left with nothing"....so i gave too much?.....so what is love?  give me something to believe in....i see no one beside me, i am in this room all alone....i hear people talking a few rooms away...their conversation seems normal...they laugh once in a while...they seem happy......but are they??...i wonder how they hide their pain....but this is how i am...i am sentimental & i don't believe i should change ...where is he ?? the guy in my vision... the one i thought was different, the one i loved...he was there a few hours ago...but a few hours ago my vision was clear....i saw him...i heard hes voice...i knew who he was a few hours ago...but my vision is hazy...like those really foggy days when you try to look up to the sky and as much as you try you cant and the fog wont let you see anything and you just don't know when that fog would clear up.....well he passed by....he spoke to me....but do i know him??.. does he feel the pain hes caused to my heart?..does he feel the same way i do??...i wonder if he ever had a vision like i once did...and if he did was i in hes vision all this time??....does he still have hes vision?....i wanna take my heart, seal all the scars...wrap it up...and put it away.....away from him...then i would become heartless..no more pain, no more scars, no more feelings...but i cant live without a heart...hes like my heart....im stuck...every decision in my mind some how leads back to him......i don't know him anymore but i wish i did & .little by little my vision is becoming clear...i can see everything around me now....but i don't see him....i don't want to see him......i want  to see the guy in my vision the one i knew....the one i loved....but hes not here anymore hes gone...and i don't think he would ever be back again...i don't think he would ever be the same again..

 

  w